Shining Beyond the Stutter
My name is Alexandra D’Agostino (Alex). I’m a new RN on the birthing unit, and I moved to Ottawa from London, Ontario. I have a degree in Anthropology and Psychology and a Bachelor of Science in Nursing. I speak French and Italian and am an avid baker and musician. I am also a person who stutters.
Stuttering is a communication disorder involving disruptions or “disfluencies” in a person’s speech; it may comprise blocks with an absence of sound, repetitive sounds, prolongations of syllables and filler words like um, like, etc. Usually, children begin to stutter when they are 3-4 years old. No one knows what causes stuttering: it could be genetic, caused by traumatic events, or a comorbidity of another condition.
I have stuttered since I was 7 and am always very open about it if anyone ever has any questions. For me, I block a lot, or I use filler words like “um”, “oh yeah” and “you know like.” I also stutter more on certain consonants like “H”, “L”, “R”, “W”, and any vowels.
My early years
I was sent to speech therapy in elementary school when I was 6 years old. Looking back, the Speech-Language Pathologists (SLP) did not consider that my Dad is from Italy, and in the Italian language, they don’t have the sound “TH”. When my Dad says something like he is “making chicken thighs for dinner”, it sounds like he is “making chicken tighs for dinner.” He also pronounces his “R”s as the British sounding “R”s. I was only mimicking his speech.
I asked the SLP why I had to come and see her, and she said specifically, “because you have a problem speaking.” I stopped speaking and communicating for almost a year. Then at the age of 7, I started to stutter and block on my words — and I have been that way ever since.
I have endured bullying and teasing throughout my entire life, making me as strong and confident as I am today. After 16 years in and out of speech therapy, I am comfortable with where my stutter is today.
Moving forward and teaching others
Despite wishing that my stutter would magically go away, I have accepted it as a part of me, and honestly, I am proud of myself for how far I have come. I am a part of the National Stuttering Association (NSA) in the United States, and I am on the Board of Directors of the Canadian Stuttering Association (CSA).
Many assume that a stutter gets worse because a person is anxious, nervous, or excited — that is not the case. My stutter worsens when I am not feeling well, tired, uncertain, or in a new environment. My speech becomes more fluent when I am comfortable and confident in my surroundings and what I’m doing. I am also more fluent in emergencies and when I have to take charge, so I know that I can work efficiently under pressure.
In the end, I am a new nurse starting in my career. I have learned a great deal throughout university and nursing school, and my stutter has always been a part of me. It has grown with me and lessened over the years. I have never let it get in the way of what I want to do in my life. I choose not to let it define me. I am: a daughter, a girlfriend, a best friend, a musician, a baker, and a Labour and Delivery Nurse who happens to stutter.
How I handle my stutter within my nursing practice:
I write everything down on the patient’s board in their room or on the cheat sheet we have in the birthing unit. This is to ensure others have the information they might need in emergency situations. Patient safety is always my number 1 priority.
I always disclose to patients that I stutter and encourage them to ask questions or tell me if they have any concerns. In the past, all of my patients have appreciated my openness.
While giving a report at the end of a shift, I usually need to take a bit more time. My stutter is worsened when I’m tired, and the nurse I am giving reports to needs to be patient.
I am not shy to talk about it. I welcome any questions anytime as it makes me feel more comfortable knowing that my colleagues are understanding.
Important things to know when speaking with a person who stutters:
Don’t try to make assumptions about what we are going to say or interrupt us when we are stuttering (such as trying to finish our sentences), even if you are just trying to be helpful.
Maintaining eye contact with a person who stutters is very helpful.
When speaking on the telephone, I have a lot of trouble saying “hi” or “hello”. Please be patient. Most people who stutter hate speaking on the phone and have more trouble controlling their speech.
Please don’t ask a person who stutters to “slow down”, “stop and take a breath”, or “relax”. Again, most people think that would be helpful when it isn’t.
It is sometimes harder for us to get our words out if we feel like the other person is in a hurry or is trying to rush us (except in emergency situations of course).
Submitted by Alexandra D’Agostino, RN